first, yeah. I didn’t go running this afternoon because, on the way home from the grocery store, there was a guy in a black Honda sedan behind me, maybe slightly older/dirtier/more beat-up looking than the one driven by the dude who followed me around that other time, but he was like….. signing? or gesturing? while driving, and I couldn’t see anyone else in the car with him. He formed an ‘o’ with one or both of his hands and put it up to one eye, so it was like a telescope or something, and then made an almost windshield-wiper-like gesture with both hands–one hand flat/horizontal, the other rotating up and down repeatedly. Then he turned off and I had to pay attention to other things… but yeah, for a reasonable amount of dissimilarity between the two people in appearance and car specs, I was still kinda rattled. I felt restless right up until m and I lost ourselves in a round of Don’t Starve Together.
which, speaking of, we played until 9:30. kind of a total waste of a night when I spend my days imagining how I could learn about ukulele and robots and languages and take the bus to downtown on my nights, but … it was good to drown my anxiety with. (some tennessee honey and a cucumber sour helped with the drowning.)
echolalia of the night (-lia): uranodioning. uranodioning. uranodioning. uranodioning.
i know in my last post, i complained that sleeping with m affects the quality of my dreams. well, last night proved that i might be kinda … suffering from confirmation bias on that one. i dreamed that richard and i were in a competition to be the first one to find a logo in the logo room. oddly, the logo room and the entirety of work felt like they were inside a school building, like, a mashup of my elementary school and high school. but i never actually explored outside this room so idk why i think that. there was a definite high school feel to the room, though. there were people judging the competition and giving hints to us who i’d never met before anywhere, but still gave off a distinctive “upperclassman-ier than thou” vibe reminding me of how it felt to be a sophomore, looking up to the cool indie kids a few grades ahead of me. anyway, they were there off to the side, judging and making sure we followed the rules. one such rule was that the floor is lava–don’t touch. we had to improvise and use empty logo boxes to throw down as stepping stones, but it was slow and felt limited somehow or like i wasn’t sure i would get away with it. i also remember just barely managing to balance on one foot at a point when I had no boxes to put down, and hearing the judges deliberate over whether that was okay.
I remember receiving two clues: one was a logo that I don’t remember at all, and the other was a pack of cheese slices that we somehow knew was *printed* with the clue, not *containing* or *being* the clue. i wonder how wrong i might be about that “knowledge” of the dream. anyway, neither clue helped either of us figure out where the logo we’re supposed to be finding is, so we run out of time. they decide the winner by who’s in closest proximity to the goal logo. it’s richard. i lose, and the penalty for losing is execution.
it gets hazy here, but i escaped somehow because there was a convention near or in the school building. i sneaked into the con where i could blend in with lots and lots of people, and i got away. next thing i remember, i’m walking down dark, construction-spotted city streets that look like a mashup of the road just north of my old apartment, and Broadway. It gets hazy again but I think i met a girl and some people and just kind of talked and walked at this point. it never felt particularly dangerous or scary tbh but even so, this part was nonchalant.
melissa and i made zuppa toscana last night and it turned out pretty all right. i used whole milk instead of cream and it was less overwhelmingly rich. mm, leftovers for daayyyyss. google music came up with a pretty decent instant mix for Rodrigo Y Gabriela’s cover of Orion, lots of 2007-y artists, and good drunk cooking was had.
i’m really bad at letting myself have feelings for melissa. i can literally feel my brain tamping down the lust sometimes, the attraction i can feel, and i don’t know how to ask why. Not to sound super clinical, but we’ve been kissing more lately.
coke relationship thoughts – i hope she really is moving on, hope she filters him instead of feeling lonely and desperate after years. oh look here’s where i fell asleep on the keyboard last night bye