lately when something has gone well but isn’t necessarily…. remarkable?… i’ve been hearing homestar’s voice say “cool.” and then that particular intake of breath through the mouth that makes it awkward and immediately less cool (whatever “it” was). I think it’s from the “four drinks for four cool guys” short. could be wrong, though. anyway this is kind of irritating bc I have a hard time reproducing the exact “cool.” i hear in my head either (a) accurately or (b) smoothly, without looking like a complete weirdo. in case that was my priority when making hsr references in 2017. (not that referencing hsr is the point! it’s just in my head so i want to put it outside my head, thus exorcising this particular echolalia.)
i feel… accomplished today. how rare. honestly tomorrow i’ll probably be over it but i actually did pretty much all the shit i could’ve expected myself to do today, production-wise.
- washed my sheets as soon as i got up, then remade bed as soon as dryer went off
- FINALLY, after three weeks of putting it off, did the necessary pretreat on my shirts so they can be laundered. I’m letting them sit overnight before washing them just so the baking soda has time to counteract three damn weeks of sitting in a stinking dirty heap. god, i fucking hate that i have to do this and i’m so bad at doing it regularly before it turns into an intimidating hour-and-a-half bullshit chore.
- i guess in list format this really isn’t that great looking
- i can’t remember what else i did of actual consequence WAIT
- ran the dishwasher
- washed *and* folded non-shirt laundry
- scrubbed the toilet (but didn’t add bleach yet)
- cleaned up my desktop computer’s desktop (no, not “deskotp”)
- got an idea of the direction i might want to head on my 2016 playlist’s album art, grabbed some resources + inspiration
- purchased and used fluoride rinse to help my cracked tooth not ache, since according to my mom that can help. today wasn’t really so bad wrt that ache, thank god. it’s been a full week of more pain than usual, since chewing gum for most of a day
- other groceries
- picked out my outfit before bedtime cram-time
- OH YEAH i sorted out all my paperwork and bills and shit and filed and recycled and set aside for shredding. THAT felt satisfying… even if that part of my desk still feels relatively unusable bc of, like, some glow-in-the-dark sticker stars in the corner. it doesn’t feel like a clean workspace, it feels like open shelf space. but i’d like to use it for notebooks and the like, since it’s not right in front of the kvm.
it’s snowing outside rn. i wonder what tmrw morning is gonna be like. there were a few power flickers over the course of the evening, but so far it’s stayed on. knock on wood. if the power actually went off, i might have to actually sleep in the same bed w m for the first time in what, over a month? I even felt vaguely interested last night.
i don’t know if this momentum is gonna still be with me tomorrow, what with potential weather/power disruptions, incipient busy season at work with one person still out, and being up as late as i am rn… but i’d like to keep doing things. there’s always stuff, of course, and it’s probably only a matter of time before i overwhelm myself with expectation and burn out. but dammit, my usual mindless stimulation options just aren’t cutting it in the past few days. i saw a site that offers free drawing tutorials and want to check that out. gotta get back on the daily cl checking train. could keep working on the 2016 playlist album art. remembered my pile of clothes + pics for tce that i need to make an imgur album for… it’s been almost a year since i started working on this and i still haven’t gone through the pics to find which ones to upload. sheesh.
also need to take out money to pay m for some of our bills. god.
i watched snk this weekend. i marathon-ed most of it on friday night until 2 in the morning (why i’m still wide awake at this time tonight) while working on my shitty phone wallpaper idea (i think it got 0 notes after working on it for a few hours that night and then the next day as well.) let me tell you something: don’t try to watch subbed anime while doing something else that requires visual attention, unless you want to fail at both. amazing insight, i know. but as for the actual show/what i saw of it…. i didn’t really… get why it’s so well-known? It’s really not that great. Kinda cool plot, but the characters all felt flat and like… their emotions and motivations were frequently not compelling. and overall the show was pretty heavy on imperialist rhetoric, i think… the titans sure make eerie villains, though. but whatever apparently everyone thinks the characters are worth making fanfic about! especially abo dear god i’ve seen too much. even as little as i’ve seen, it’s too much.
yeah actually on that subject. people… do the people writing these things realize how absurd it is that they’re this far inside this trope? that they place this belief system onto canon, worm it into the cracks so it can exist behind the scenes? and how that reflects on them, the writers, and the world they live in? the violent possessiveness of monogamy, all the twisted priorities that make mpreg more common/desirable than, idk, trans characters or adoption or surrogacy or any of a number of things… like… cis masculinity is just gonna swallow everything? ok then. but to be fair i’m very much a spectator and don’t have much context for the fandom(s) that created this and grew it to this point. i’m sure i’m missing pieces, but i’m also sure that there’s a shitload of misogyny in the mix.
wtf how did i get from 12:34 to 1 am, fuck
yesterday i also finally watched A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night and was still distracted by phone-wallpaper-making, and…. felt like i was missing something. but then it might be one of those artsier films that would’ve made me feel that way even if i paid close attention the whole time. I really enjoyed the long, emotional pauses between protag greaser dude and protag vamp lady though. those were really well done and rly… rich. and it was very satisfying to see the vengeance wrought on shitty dudes. yeeeaaaah, i’m probably missing a lot. whatever.
also worth noting abt this week: reading teen vogue led me to learn about k-beauty, or korean beauty. apparently it’s been about 3 or 4 years since it was hip soooo it’s good to know i’ve still got plenty of backlog from being a depressed useless piece of unaccomplished shit. it’s… good scaffolding to learn more about skincare/facial routines and products, though. i was kinda intimidated and confused before and now i am slightly less confused. like any kind of daily/regular use thing, it sounds expensive… but i think i could maybe figure something out for myself.
that’s a lot. and it wasn’t the worst writing ever, either, at least in parts. i know my punctuation was especially shitty. but it felt… okay. time to get insufficient sleep, be really cold/wet, and get stressed out driving in unfamiliar conditions!! ye