has it really been almost a month? sheesh, i knew it was bad but that does drive it home.
dreams:
driving at night. exiting the highway in an unfamiliar area. weird intersection with shitty sharp hills and confusing signage/paint markings that are half worn away. at first i try backing up to get a better look at everything, but then someone else is coming off the exit ramp and i gotta go forward in some direction. so i pick one of the weird steep hills (there’s a fork with three prongs, all one-way, all with those half-worn white painted arrows suggesting it’s OK to go that way.) i get over the hill part and it turns into concrete stairs, and my car starts tipping. i… am not sure whether i just drive REALLY slowly or if i get out of the car and guide it down the stairs manually, from outside the vehicle, somehow, but i prevent it from rolling over completely. thought i did a pretty okay job, but when my car and i arrive at the bottom and i start examining it, i notice a few things in succession:
- it’s a different make and model than my actual car
- it’s more dinged up now than it presumably was before, if we’re going off irl cosmetic damage to my actual car
- suddenly there’s no chassis, it’s more like a seated lawn mower in its shape and size, and the engine bit is sticking up directly behind the seat. shaking and sputtering violently but hanging in there so far.
i go to turn off the engine/grab the keys, and as i do, i notice more lights on the dash. one that doesn’t actually exist irl but here it says in red backlit text, “TIRE”. lol. so i’m like, okay, gotta get this to a repair shop. well thank you brain, suddenly the area i’m in is car repair city. there’s even the actual mechanic that i go to irl along with all these other random phonies my brain has cooked up. but it’s late, maybe 10-something, so my usual place isn’t open. one of the phonies is, so i take it there. then bc it’s late i start looking for a place to sleep and there’s this place where i have a bunch of junk (maybe it was from my car and i took it out? idk) sitting on the ground and a bunch of children are starting to show up. turns out there’s some kind of kids’ camp that’s sleeping over in this park/boardwalk/whatever the fuck place this is near all these car repair shops. one little boy tries to poke through some of my stuff and i have to tell him not to. the chaperones seem to be attentive but didn’t necessarily care about him going through my shit. i start organizing everything as much as i can and discover some layers and a sleeping bag, which is cool. something to sleep in and be comfortable in. kids around me are starting to lay out their stuff for the night, and of course i have bags literally right next to mine, as if i’m the fuckin centerpiece of the boardwalk for everything to revolve around. 😛 it’s at this point that i realize my bed is just across the way. like. just chillin over in the corner.
things got fuzzy at that point, but i tried to pick up my car from the mechanic at some point, unsure whether it was fixed or still needed help, and now trying to deal with parking it elsewhere.
there was another dream in there somewhere. hanging out with people… showed up at someone’s house…. winter break or summer break, something with free time to be wherever… the group i was with was all huddled outside trying to get in, but some dude opened the door, asked me if i knew how to deal with pasta, and when i said yeah, he was like, “please help, i gotta go” and led me to a kitchen with a VERY TINY knot of steaming pasta that seemed mostly decently cooked already to me, then exited out the same door behind us. I started using a fork and a knife to push it around the weird plate it was on, trying to separate out the noodles. they were longish and kinda similar to linguine, and had some green and orange noodles in the mix. there was a different group of people in the other room… i recognized one of them as a coworker. for some reason they cheerfully accepted my presence but didn’t give a shit about my friends outside. (later on, somehow those friends got into the house and were playing with a cat somewhere while i was still hanging out with these new folks.) blake, ben, and mario were there somewhere? there was some kind of… punk thing. oh man, not sure how related, but i think near that house/connected to it there was some kind of small punk show going on. There was a full band onstage performing….. it looked like half a high school auditorium, with bleachers pulled out and very little space between them and the stage. but then there was this chick at the bottom of the bleachers with her own little booth, singing into a mic, totally ignoring the band performing. when the lead singer of the band came over to talk to her, she didn’t back down at all. what a cool bitch. she was wearing a maroon skater dress.