woh. i just ate two spoonfuls of raspberry frosting and am like… a little dizzy now. the hell.
i thought i had sort of figured out what was going on with my body, enough to control it, but this…. feels annoying and derailing. did i mention this last time i was on? chest pain, shortness of breath, heart pounding. on and off the last month or so. i literally notice it the most looking at this screen… that’s very helpful. thanks brain.
anyway, this month i learned that heartburn can cause all those fucking symptoms and then some. ffs. i’m sort of managing it. eating super perfectly is hard. i like spicy things and fatty things and sweet things and alcohol, and i don’t eat bland gentle carbs when i have the choice. still not convinced that this sudden sugar rush is directly related to that anyway but uuuuugghhhhhh
that health bs has taken up most of my month, btw. i barely had time for anything else when i was feeling fatigued most of the time and like, foolishly going to the doctor like they were actually going to be able to pinpoint something instead of just telling me “it’s not a heart attack, you’re young and healthy, so go fuck yourself to the tune of $1000 in labs and tests!” at least this’ll help with my deductible probably maybe.
r bought me a watch to help monitor heart rate bc he was worried. it was sweet.
we were going to go have a 3-day vacation weekend somewhere this weekend but all the nice airbnbs are booked up, so. oh well. chronically late planners’ consequence.
i’m starting to think about what it would be like to have a different job. i really like my benefits here, but we’re understaffed in ways that are stressing me tf out.
huh. still dizzyish.
it’s the next day now. i am still dizzy and called out sick bc of it. looking for new pcps and sent a message request for an office visit. could be diabeetus???? i don’t know where else all the excessive pee might come from. Trying to at least take b12 about it.
i’m trying to think past the dizziness since it seems to not be getting better or worse with all the things i’ve tried, and imagining what i might enjoy doing w my time… r suggested epley maneuvers for vertigo, he told me the backyard is free if i wanted to go outside… all i want is to sleep.
maybe i’ll update my address on some shit and then use that one service to test if it went through.