the last few times i’ve tried writing a post, i’ve ended up feeling lightheaded, so now I’m wary that it’s going to happen every time. so i took a benadryl and hopefully that helps. i googled syncope + benadryl and there didn’t seem to be any evidence that benadryl would help syncope–if anything, it seems like it would exacerbate that–so i’m not sure what to make of that. does that mean this is anxiety? or that benadryl helps with heartburn somehow to head off my body’s reaction in another way?
r’s been visiting his folks for a week and a half now. i was with them the first weekend but had to fly back for work ofc. this is the longest i’ve had a room to myself since the covid scare in january. i haven’t…. i cleaned the room a little bit once and haven’t done any personal projects yet. i’m struggling. i’m so lonely and failing to do literally anything that i could imagine being worthwhile.
well. not literally anything. i read Magic for Idiots and Gideon the Ninth. Two novels in three days. I have two more to go through. Maybe it’s unfair if they’re sci-fi. GtN was fucking heartbreaking, actually. I didn’t want her to die. I had just gotten attached, just connected w her character. I don’t even want to continue with the series knowing that she died.
and now i’m blogging while crying over queer eye lmfao
hoping i can pick up some style and design ideas from them tho
they make dark walls work for that teachers’ den, i guess you just need it to be spacious and have some bright white areas. “just”
aaaaand now here’s the sleepy.
not to turn this into a to-do list, but lately i’ve been thinking i should try harder to get into therapy. and also pull out my fabric pile and see if there’s anything I can work on.