why do i always forget to drink water before i do the Very Serious Fluoride Rinse
this laptop already feels gr8 on my guts
You could kind of say I’ve been productive lately outside of work. (Relatively speaking.) Under threat of apartment inspection, I’m finally covering the holes where my double-sided 3M foam tape ripped off all the paint to expose greyish papery drywall layers. I’ve never done shit like this before and I’m… not good at it. xD I’m slow and am not doing a very good job, but I think as long as the paint is a decent match, it’ll be okay. I spackled, wet-sanded the spackle (bless M for how many times her crafting tools have come in handy for other shit), sprayed on some knockdown foam from a can (after covering everything with masking tape and garbage bags), and proceeded to attempt to knock it down after a minute of sitting? Mind you, this took three days. I basically completed one step per day and went off to do something else to make sure I left enough dry time, then stopped caring. What a slo. Aside from the general ~good life experience it is to go through this, even on a minuscule scale, I found something useful that none of the how-tos told me: iPhone spudge tools make GREAT mini putty knives. Honestly really delightful. Now all that’s left is for me to do the painting. Might use one of my foam makeup sponges.
The other external productive thing I did recently was…. take out the trash, essentially. On Saturday, M and I drove around to like five different places to dispose of special + hazardous shit. Plastic bags, alkaline batteries, phone batteries, string lights, CFLs, old computer hardware… it was a lot of driving. kind of annoying/exhausting, but it’s good to have it done. God. The hall closet is WAY better than it was before, and I wish I could make M use the extra shelf.. it seems like she could use the extra space in her room. I may have gotten kinda… passive-aggressive about her cleaning habits after we drove around for like 5 hours in all the heat and traffic of last Saturday. I’m an entitled, thoughtless dick.
Speaking of, I’ve had a lot of… calm, quiet thoughts lately, specifically regarding my own emotional/mental capacity with other people. I don’t feel how I imagined feeling with another person, but it kind of works anyway. I still want to be with her. Reading fanfic makes me wonder if this is normal, that’s all. Are people being realistic and drawing from experience when they describe fictional couples who never tire of each other sexually, without being some tropey insatiable cheater? Is it possible to sustain those intense feelings of …. want, I guess, for that long? I have the space to let myself be whatever, act however, I guess.
I wish for the discipline to do just… any, *any* of the things that I want to do. Like walking today. Or a g/ara/s/hir photomanip, or outlining a fic idea. I never go anywhere, though.
gotta get up early tomorrow to go to work early. I hope I make it in on time.