Is this just my “bitch about my boyfriend” zone now? Ugh.
Feeling conflicted over our interactions today. I was feeling myself and sent him a bunch of gifs. I thought they were all pretty great and well done. Literally no response to the sexual aspect, and instead he fixated on the part that was supposed to be funny, the inclusion of my mint sheep plush in one selfie, and turned it into a pseudo-rejection, “not in front of the stuffed animal”-style.
I don’t get it. I don’t understand why he would respond that way if he feels about me the way he claims to. Even when I’m not personally super rowdy, receiving something personal, sexy, and well done can persuade me to feel otherwise OR AT LEAST I fucking appreciate it aesthetically. Not this weak bullshit.
So yeah, I’m kinda frustrated… again. But then, at the same time…. do I have a right to be? Am I taking this too personally? He doesn’t owe me sex. He doesn’t owe me any given feeling at any given moment, and he was actually trying to get work done that day. Maybe it was just a lower priority than trying to bust ass on a project. BUT other texts he was totally fine to respond to, and he even sent the group thread a link to some bbc article right around the same time as I was sending gifs.
So yeah, that shit is useless, and I’m tired and feel disconnected from R. The least I can do is try to get some rest for tomorrow and be prepared to own some production tasks. do i text asking for confirmation of receipt/that one of us isn’t missing messages along the way?
i feel bad for wanting to bring this up again. it’s like, every damn week, you know?
i would lurve to find a therapist.